I have been a Nic fan for many years, but up until 3months ago i never had a Nic dream. Then, i had 3 in a row! Multiple dreams, if you will One was so bizarre and short, it's hardly worth repeating. Another was very deep and possibly too erotic for this section! But i might risk it. Lol. The final one is where i'll begin.

First, I need to tell you that I have been ill for a few years and am entirely bedbound and cannot sit up. I am extremely noise and light sensitive, and my room is permanently darkened. I am explaining this to give my dream a context, but please focus on the dream and the person recalling it, not the illness!

There are 3distinct scenes to this dream. It starts in a room which is extremely harshly lit, the walls are white and there are no windows; it feels slightly suffocating and claustrophobic. I am sitting in a wheelchair and feeling just so happy to be able to be there. I'm buzzing with positive energy about the future. I am overjoyed to be able to sit up, and be part of the world again. At first i'm not sure why i'm in this room. There are lots of people milling around, talking and picking food from a buffet, it's like a daytime conference. I'm happy just looking on, taking it all in feeling relaxed and enjoying being part of life again. This is all the more amazing because the room starts to get brighter and more crowded and i'm just feeling more and more peaceful.

Suddenly i remember why I'm here. It's some sort of a function in honour of Nic, I can hear Nic's voice talking politely to people, about nothing in particular, small talk. Then i can see him. He is making his way through the crowds, shaking hands and smiling, and coming closer to where i am sitting.

At this point, i begin to feel really self conscious about the wheelchair. Everyone else is standing up and i really stick out. Curiously, at the same time i have this growing feeling of peace becoming stronger and bigger inside me.

I start to feel as if Nic has this huge energy field which is somehow trying to pull closer towards me. It's as if he can see me out of the corner of his eye, without actually looking at me. As he comes even closer the 2 extreme feelings of growing peace and acute self consciousness become even more intense.
I begin to realise if I don't act soon I will miss my chance, possibly my only ever chance of meeting Nic.

The intensity grows until it's almost screaming and i feel his energy field almost willing me to invite him over. I also have this growing awareness of his distress at the shallowness of the constant handshaking and chitchat; and i feel a wave of guilt that I am there too, one of those people, wanting to meet Nic.

By this point he is passing right in front me!. As he does, his back towards me, I know he wants to turn and catch my eye, but can't because he knows I feel self conscious. His energy is somehow telling me the ball is in my court.
I begin to have a real sense that the moment has passed, and the feelings of peacefulness begin to fade as i become increasingly aware of the suffocating environment.
I start to try and emotionally download anything which would save me from overwhelming disappointment and the feeling i had failed.

Then all of a sudden, in a way which felt completely out of my control, i called out clearly and loudly, 'NIC'! And rather than feeling suprised or panicked, i just felt serene.

He turned slowly around and looked me in the eyes, he had an amazing all knowing smile, that showed me how glad he was that i had finally spoken. He came over and sat on the floor in crossed legged position (!) so that he was a bit lower than me in my wheelchair. I remember feeling very touched by that, as everyone else was towering over me. He said 'i'm so very glad to meet you'. But the words we spoke seemed irrelevant, because it was if we knew each other already. The conversation was very natural, intense and full spectrum, quite deep in places and fun in others. it was like every note on the keyboard and all the colours of the rainbow. But the dream didn't include the words. There was just this expanding feeling of joy and peace.
I was starting to have an awareness of how people around were becoming impatient and lots of people were already leaving. I knew that Nic was aware of it too, but we just carried on talking in this bubble of expanding peace.

When the time felt right, I said, 'thankyou so much for spending all this time with me. its been so wonderful talking with you and i'm overwhelmed to have met such a beautiful soul as you'. It felt easy to be totally open and honest, without awkwardness at all. He replied, 'I couldn't think of anything i would have enjoyed doing more this afternoon than talking with you'. Then he slowly stood up, and holding my hand said, 'See you soon'.
That was the end of the 1st scene of my dream.!

-- Edited by lula at 22:32, 2007-11-29

-- Edited by lula at 10:13, 2007-11-30